My Thoughts On The Cult 1976 Horror Film "Island Of Death" As I Watch It
By Rhett Rhodes, the only writer of this blog
If you're reading this wild shit, you're probably ready to read my reaction to the 1976 Greek horror film "Island of Death", written, directed, and produced by Nico Mastorakis. I'll be watching parts of the film, pausing, and then returning here to type my thoughts sporadically throughout the entire movie. If I even make it that far.
This film is one of the most widely BANNED films in the world. It's a staple from the famous Video Nasty list, that of course, a term given to a list in the UK, of all the lovely films released on video cassette that were criticized for their graphic and grotesque content. And can you guess why it was banned for so many years and criticized? Because this shit is totally fucking bananas. Shit hit the fan before a meal was even consumed. I'm talking a few minutes in and then we're fucking in a public phone booth on the street while my mom is on the phone listening because I dared to call her. I know this because I'm 19 minutes in already, and that happened, and boy, do I have a lot to fill you in on.
Grab a beverage and get ready to scroll down a landing strip of SPOILERS!!! Tons of them. Also... this may get graphic...duh?
00:19:10
So basically, from what I've seen so far in this movie is the scene I described above with the phone booth and then some. Robert Behling stars as the sick son of a bitch himself Christopher, the bad boy photographer psycho who, along with his girlfriend Celia, go on a touching killing spree in on the Greek island of Mykonos posing as a newlywed couple. Though, right off the bat, Christopher seems to be the sicker individual out of the two. So far, Celia reminds me of a traveling sex doll. Chris just keeps on humping her all the time, everywhere, in a phone booth. I also just witnessed Christopher awake in the morning and wonder outside where, while enjoying the view, RAPES A FUCKING GOAT. After 14 seconds he nuts and stabs the thing to death violently then slits the throat for almost no reason at all because it died a while ago after a few good stabs.
Fast forward to the current scene now. I'm watching our pal Chris take some photos. And, you're right, it's not just 'some photos', he's watching a young couple have wild sex in a pasture. The greatest part is the fact that he calls them perverts. "Perverts", said the guy with goat shit on his dick.
00:19:56
Oh shit. My bad. That wasn't a young couple having sex. It was Celia having sex with a stranger. It was a goof. A sly setup so Chris could get his next killing in, and in a fetish twist, take photos of his wife getting it on with another man.
Side note: I'm wondering if Celia is on birth control. She's taking nuts left and right.
00:22:46
Damn, man. Let me tell you, the weirdest kill in a horror movie of all time just happened, and fuck, was it crazy. That stranger Celia was getting raw dogged by a few minutes ago was strangled and beaten by our boy Chris. Celia was taking pics as the guy ate punches like spaghetti dinner. Christopher of course continues on about the lord and perversion and other nonsensical dramatic dialogue, they crucify his ass on the cement. Slammed the hammer with a nail straight down like a Stone Cold Stunner. Grab the magic hat Penn and Teller, there's even more. The man faints after getting totally nailed and wakes up delusional. So of course, Chris and Celia offer him a drink of paint. White paint. Lowkey, I noticed the trickery easily, they weren't so slick. I think it was fucking donkey milk at first because paint would fuck your shirt up, not flow through it so easily.
00:24:16
I can totally see her nipples underneath her silk blouse. At a house party no less.
00:32:56
Chris and Celia meet two gay men at the house party, which was an engagement party, and pretty much know right away that they're going to kill the gay men. The older gay man has this weird gray Jesus haircut and he's wearing lipstick and I swear to God that he's actually a Jim Henson puppet. Anyway, Christopher and Celia sneak into the gay men's house where they knock the younger gay dude. The older one runs off and Chris takes off after him with a sword. I noticed at 00:31:57 when Christopher tells the older gay dude "It's a dead end my friend", his mouth only moves to the words "It's a dead end". Then he slashes the man several times on the chest and stomach and blood squirts everywhere and it's cool. Right after killing him, a synthesizer begins to play, but I shit you not that it sounded like his guts were farting or something. Awkward synth. But, back at the house, Celia and the younger gay dude do some kind of flirting. I'm not really sure. She showed him her boobs and then he sucked on the barrel of her pistol as she shot him, splattering a pretty thick wad of brain matter on the wall behind him.
Side note: It's 4:55 a.m. right now and I'm still watching this movie.
00:39:23
So basically, Celia watches Christopher jerk off for a little bit and later Celia awakens from a nightmare. In the nightmare Christopher is murdered and Celia is raped. Chris is all like, "shh go back to sleep". Just filling you in. Ahem. Un-pausing the movie now.
00:42:48
Whoaaa. A little lesbian action going on with two girls that Chris is stalking in the middle of the night. Talk about a convenient time to leave the house. What are the odds?
0053:31
So our boy Christopher is miraculously a pilot all of a sudden. So there's this American cop whose been looking for Chris and Celia who finds where they've been staying this whole time and after raiding their room he finds all the photographs of their crimes. Chris and Celia get the genius idea that the American cop, Foster, flew in from a plane. So they Mouse and the Motorcycle the fuck to the airport and somehow know that the plane they see on the landing pad is Foster's plane. They stay in the cab of the plane, hidden, when Foster walks up and opens the door. They throw a noose around his neck and shut the plane door. See, this is just marvelous. Chris shuts the door, right? But, it's just a fucking noose. Not a python. Foster could've easily just taken the noose off. Christopher starts the plane and gets it off the ground in under 5 seconds somehow and Foster climbs onto the wing of the plane. Then there's this shot from the ground of the plane flying through the air with Foster on the wing. More like, Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, it was clearly a dummy poorly tied down onto the wing. It was just a stiff ass doll. He slips off the wing and obviously, cracks his neck from the rope and dies. THEN. Get this. Then, Celia cuts the rope in like 45 seconds. It could've taken 5 or 6 seconds, but she took her precious ass time with that shit.
00:56:15
Cougar bath scene. Old but bold, this one's for the fellas. Enjoy her.
01:02:42
Well, that lasted long. Not. The cougar was tryna get some from Christopher but he decided to piss all over her first. Seriously. He showered her with his urine (right after her bath, I know right), but she actually enjoys it. Chris doesn't so much. He beats her unconscious and takes her to a weird ass secluded area where there's also a bulldozer. Perfect, I know. Chris then uses the bucket on the bulldozer to decapitate the cougar. Who, yes, was also a doll for a split second. Celia is now getting worried and stops having fun with the murders.
01:08:27
Chris goes fishing while Celia goes back home to take a bath the next day. But, two hippies stalk Celia back to her room and sneak in while she's in the bath. The two hippies barge in and Celia screams in perfect intervals the sound of a seagull getting accidentally stepped on. The two hippies attempt to rape Celia in the bathtub, but what now? Chris, our bad boy Chris, comes back to the room with a spear gun even though he said he was going fishing, and shoots one of the hippies in the chest as Celia continues to butt fuck the ass of our ear drums with that scream for some reason. Chris kills the other one by drowning him in the toilet. What a way to go, man.
01:19:21
Okay, wow, fuck. Celia meets this lesbian named Leslie and they go back to Leslie's place where they make out and do the dirt deeds done dirt cheat on the floor. After that, Leslie shoots up some heroin and lies on her back. Chris, who was following them, comes in and beats Leslie and then injects her with a shit ton of heroin. She overdoses in 4 seconds and dies. Then, this old sick dog named Christopher BURNS HER FUCKING FACE with a candle and a can of Aerosol. What a fucking way to go. Also, as of 01:19:21 he's still burning her. He's been doing it for 20 seconds straight onto her face but her face so far just looks like she cleaned out a chimney.
01:37:06
Hold up. Here's some boring shit. Chris kills some chick with a scythe thing, blah blah. Here's some FUCKED UP SHIT. Christopher and Celia run away from a tiny and not very scary police squad. But I guess when you've got something to hide, everyone of them is scary. Anyway, in less than a few hours they manage to run miles and miles away and meet this weird fucking sheep herding creep with an inbred's smile and stay with him in his little hut made of clay with hay as the flooring. The next morning, Celia is wakes up to the sheep herding man raping her. Chris wakes up, but he just takes pictures of the rape as she cries for help. This is where I really reacted. She's crying for Chris to stop taking photos and help her but he does nothing but take photos. The creep stops raping Celia and crawls over to Christopher. He smacks Chris in his bitch ass mouth and like a dramatic bitch Chris goes down like a stripper on 99 cent corn dog day at Sonic. SUDDENLY and I really mean that, while Chris is knocked out from those fairy punches, the sheep herder rapes Chris too. And Celia is now... turned on by this? Hmm?
The sheep herder takes Chris outside and lays him on the grass. For some reason the herder keeps itching his balls and then he lifts his leg high in the air and lets out a really big fart. Which, I knew, sounded strangely like the synth heard earlier in the film.
01:42:15
OH NO OH FUCK OH WHAT? Okay, so the sheep dude throws Christopher into a pit of lye. Which if you get wet, it isn't going to be nice. Chemical burns, all that type of mess. Why does he have this? Fuck, if I know. And then the sheep herder and Celia go back into the hut and have sex for real real this time. That wasn't a typo, I mean, real real real. Then Celia goes to speak to Chris who can't get out of the pit where.... where... it's revealed that Chris and Celia are BROTHER AND SISTER. I know. What the fuck. They did some shit too. A lot of nasty ass shit.
01:46:04 FINAL RUNTIME
Well, holy shit. What a weird and not expected ending to this balls out comedy. Just kidding. The only funny thing in the movie is all the times they put dialogue and noises in places where there shouldn't have been. So this movie ends with nightfall, Celia soaks this sheep herders cork, and he goes down and hudsucker's her proxy. It begins to rain heavily, soaking Christopher in the lye which begins to have a chemical reaction to the rain, giving off tons of fumes all while burning Chris' skin off. As he screams for help, Celia's in the mudhut bussin' it wide open.
FINAL THOUGHTS
There's not a whole lot to really even say but, "wow". This was supposed to be a typical movie, something that's been done time and time again. Except, this movie really changed the dynamic of a slasher film. It wasn't your ordinary slasher film. From bestiality to incest to murder to rape to abuse to homophobia to etc. It's all there folks. That's the movie. I watched it so you didn't have to. And I have to say, I'll probably never watch it ever again in my entire life. My brain couldn't even comprehend half of the shit in the movie or what the story was even supposed to be. I saw one hairy muff in the film and my perceptions hitched to Albuquerque.
I think that's it everyone. Thanks for reading and managing to stay somewhat into it. Maybe comment or send me a message on my social media accounts of what movie I should react to next. Peace.
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RhettRhodes_
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rhettrhodes/
 |
| Island of Death (1976 Poster) |
If you're reading this wild shit, you're probably ready to read my reaction to the 1976 Greek horror film "Island of Death", written, directed, and produced by Nico Mastorakis. I'll be watching parts of the film, pausing, and then returning here to type my thoughts sporadically throughout the entire movie. If I even make it that far.
This film is one of the most widely BANNED films in the world. It's a staple from the famous Video Nasty list, that of course, a term given to a list in the UK, of all the lovely films released on video cassette that were criticized for their graphic and grotesque content. And can you guess why it was banned for so many years and criticized? Because this shit is totally fucking bananas. Shit hit the fan before a meal was even consumed. I'm talking a few minutes in and then we're fucking in a public phone booth on the street while my mom is on the phone listening because I dared to call her. I know this because I'm 19 minutes in already, and that happened, and boy, do I have a lot to fill you in on.
Grab a beverage and get ready to scroll down a landing strip of SPOILERS!!! Tons of them. Also... this may get graphic...duh?
00:19:10
So basically, from what I've seen so far in this movie is the scene I described above with the phone booth and then some. Robert Behling stars as the sick son of a bitch himself Christopher, the bad boy photographer psycho who, along with his girlfriend Celia, go on a touching killing spree in on the Greek island of Mykonos posing as a newlywed couple. Though, right off the bat, Christopher seems to be the sicker individual out of the two. So far, Celia reminds me of a traveling sex doll. Chris just keeps on humping her all the time, everywhere, in a phone booth. I also just witnessed Christopher awake in the morning and wonder outside where, while enjoying the view, RAPES A FUCKING GOAT. After 14 seconds he nuts and stabs the thing to death violently then slits the throat for almost no reason at all because it died a while ago after a few good stabs.
Fast forward to the current scene now. I'm watching our pal Chris take some photos. And, you're right, it's not just 'some photos', he's watching a young couple have wild sex in a pasture. The greatest part is the fact that he calls them perverts. "Perverts", said the guy with goat shit on his dick.
 |
| Goat Fuckers International |
00:19:56
Oh shit. My bad. That wasn't a young couple having sex. It was Celia having sex with a stranger. It was a goof. A sly setup so Chris could get his next killing in, and in a fetish twist, take photos of his wife getting it on with another man.
Side note: I'm wondering if Celia is on birth control. She's taking nuts left and right.
00:22:46
Damn, man. Let me tell you, the weirdest kill in a horror movie of all time just happened, and fuck, was it crazy. That stranger Celia was getting raw dogged by a few minutes ago was strangled and beaten by our boy Chris. Celia was taking pics as the guy ate punches like spaghetti dinner. Christopher of course continues on about the lord and perversion and other nonsensical dramatic dialogue, they crucify his ass on the cement. Slammed the hammer with a nail straight down like a Stone Cold Stunner. Grab the magic hat Penn and Teller, there's even more. The man faints after getting totally nailed and wakes up delusional. So of course, Chris and Celia offer him a drink of paint. White paint. Lowkey, I noticed the trickery easily, they weren't so slick. I think it was fucking donkey milk at first because paint would fuck your shirt up, not flow through it so easily.
00:24:16
I can totally see her nipples underneath her silk blouse. At a house party no less.
00:32:56
Chris and Celia meet two gay men at the house party, which was an engagement party, and pretty much know right away that they're going to kill the gay men. The older gay man has this weird gray Jesus haircut and he's wearing lipstick and I swear to God that he's actually a Jim Henson puppet. Anyway, Christopher and Celia sneak into the gay men's house where they knock the younger gay dude. The older one runs off and Chris takes off after him with a sword. I noticed at 00:31:57 when Christopher tells the older gay dude "It's a dead end my friend", his mouth only moves to the words "It's a dead end". Then he slashes the man several times on the chest and stomach and blood squirts everywhere and it's cool. Right after killing him, a synthesizer begins to play, but I shit you not that it sounded like his guts were farting or something. Awkward synth. But, back at the house, Celia and the younger gay dude do some kind of flirting. I'm not really sure. She showed him her boobs and then he sucked on the barrel of her pistol as she shot him, splattering a pretty thick wad of brain matter on the wall behind him.
Side note: It's 4:55 a.m. right now and I'm still watching this movie.
00:39:23
So basically, Celia watches Christopher jerk off for a little bit and later Celia awakens from a nightmare. In the nightmare Christopher is murdered and Celia is raped. Chris is all like, "shh go back to sleep". Just filling you in. Ahem. Un-pausing the movie now.
00:42:48
Whoaaa. A little lesbian action going on with two girls that Chris is stalking in the middle of the night. Talk about a convenient time to leave the house. What are the odds?
0053:31
So our boy Christopher is miraculously a pilot all of a sudden. So there's this American cop whose been looking for Chris and Celia who finds where they've been staying this whole time and after raiding their room he finds all the photographs of their crimes. Chris and Celia get the genius idea that the American cop, Foster, flew in from a plane. So they Mouse and the Motorcycle the fuck to the airport and somehow know that the plane they see on the landing pad is Foster's plane. They stay in the cab of the plane, hidden, when Foster walks up and opens the door. They throw a noose around his neck and shut the plane door. See, this is just marvelous. Chris shuts the door, right? But, it's just a fucking noose. Not a python. Foster could've easily just taken the noose off. Christopher starts the plane and gets it off the ground in under 5 seconds somehow and Foster climbs onto the wing of the plane. Then there's this shot from the ground of the plane flying through the air with Foster on the wing. More like, Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, it was clearly a dummy poorly tied down onto the wing. It was just a stiff ass doll. He slips off the wing and obviously, cracks his neck from the rope and dies. THEN. Get this. Then, Celia cuts the rope in like 45 seconds. It could've taken 5 or 6 seconds, but she took her precious ass time with that shit.
00:56:15
Cougar bath scene. Old but bold, this one's for the fellas. Enjoy her.
 |
| Cougar Mountain |
01:02:42
Well, that lasted long. Not. The cougar was tryna get some from Christopher but he decided to piss all over her first. Seriously. He showered her with his urine (right after her bath, I know right), but she actually enjoys it. Chris doesn't so much. He beats her unconscious and takes her to a weird ass secluded area where there's also a bulldozer. Perfect, I know. Chris then uses the bucket on the bulldozer to decapitate the cougar. Who, yes, was also a doll for a split second. Celia is now getting worried and stops having fun with the murders.
01:08:27
Chris goes fishing while Celia goes back home to take a bath the next day. But, two hippies stalk Celia back to her room and sneak in while she's in the bath. The two hippies barge in and Celia screams in perfect intervals the sound of a seagull getting accidentally stepped on. The two hippies attempt to rape Celia in the bathtub, but what now? Chris, our bad boy Chris, comes back to the room with a spear gun even though he said he was going fishing, and shoots one of the hippies in the chest as Celia continues to butt fuck the ass of our ear drums with that scream for some reason. Chris kills the other one by drowning him in the toilet. What a way to go, man.
01:19:21
Okay, wow, fuck. Celia meets this lesbian named Leslie and they go back to Leslie's place where they make out and do the dirt deeds done dirt cheat on the floor. After that, Leslie shoots up some heroin and lies on her back. Chris, who was following them, comes in and beats Leslie and then injects her with a shit ton of heroin. She overdoses in 4 seconds and dies. Then, this old sick dog named Christopher BURNS HER FUCKING FACE with a candle and a can of Aerosol. What a fucking way to go. Also, as of 01:19:21 he's still burning her. He's been doing it for 20 seconds straight onto her face but her face so far just looks like she cleaned out a chimney.
01:37:06
Hold up. Here's some boring shit. Chris kills some chick with a scythe thing, blah blah. Here's some FUCKED UP SHIT. Christopher and Celia run away from a tiny and not very scary police squad. But I guess when you've got something to hide, everyone of them is scary. Anyway, in less than a few hours they manage to run miles and miles away and meet this weird fucking sheep herding creep with an inbred's smile and stay with him in his little hut made of clay with hay as the flooring. The next morning, Celia is wakes up to the sheep herding man raping her. Chris wakes up, but he just takes pictures of the rape as she cries for help. This is where I really reacted. She's crying for Chris to stop taking photos and help her but he does nothing but take photos. The creep stops raping Celia and crawls over to Christopher. He smacks Chris in his bitch ass mouth and like a dramatic bitch Chris goes down like a stripper on 99 cent corn dog day at Sonic. SUDDENLY and I really mean that, while Chris is knocked out from those fairy punches, the sheep herder rapes Chris too. And Celia is now... turned on by this? Hmm?
The sheep herder takes Chris outside and lays him on the grass. For some reason the herder keeps itching his balls and then he lifts his leg high in the air and lets out a really big fart. Which, I knew, sounded strangely like the synth heard earlier in the film.
01:42:15
OH NO OH FUCK OH WHAT? Okay, so the sheep dude throws Christopher into a pit of lye. Which if you get wet, it isn't going to be nice. Chemical burns, all that type of mess. Why does he have this? Fuck, if I know. And then the sheep herder and Celia go back into the hut and have sex for real real this time. That wasn't a typo, I mean, real real real. Then Celia goes to speak to Chris who can't get out of the pit where.... where... it's revealed that Chris and Celia are BROTHER AND SISTER. I know. What the fuck. They did some shit too. A lot of nasty ass shit.
 |
| "I'm just 'lye-n around" |
01:46:04 FINAL RUNTIME
Well, holy shit. What a weird and not expected ending to this balls out comedy. Just kidding. The only funny thing in the movie is all the times they put dialogue and noises in places where there shouldn't have been. So this movie ends with nightfall, Celia soaks this sheep herders cork, and he goes down and hudsucker's her proxy. It begins to rain heavily, soaking Christopher in the lye which begins to have a chemical reaction to the rain, giving off tons of fumes all while burning Chris' skin off. As he screams for help, Celia's in the mudhut bussin' it wide open.
FINAL THOUGHTS
There's not a whole lot to really even say but, "wow". This was supposed to be a typical movie, something that's been done time and time again. Except, this movie really changed the dynamic of a slasher film. It wasn't your ordinary slasher film. From bestiality to incest to murder to rape to abuse to homophobia to etc. It's all there folks. That's the movie. I watched it so you didn't have to. And I have to say, I'll probably never watch it ever again in my entire life. My brain couldn't even comprehend half of the shit in the movie or what the story was even supposed to be. I saw one hairy muff in the film and my perceptions hitched to Albuquerque.
I think that's it everyone. Thanks for reading and managing to stay somewhat into it. Maybe comment or send me a message on my social media accounts of what movie I should react to next. Peace.
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RhettRhodes_
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rhettrhodes/
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